Adultery Ad Pitch Finds Houston Market

By CLAUDIA FELDMAN HOUSTON CHRONICLE
Feb. 2, 2009, 9:43PM


A scene from the Ashley Madison commercial shown during Super Bowl XLIII in Texas.

Football fans are used to outrageous ads on Super Bowl Sunday, but a 30-second pitch for adultery had Monday-morning quarterbacks buzzing.
“Infidelity is a form of betrayal, and the idea of portraying betrayal as an answer to relationship problems is mind-boggling,” said family therapist Tim Louis in Houston.
He was referring to the $250,000 spot for AshleyMadison.com, an online dating service for married folk.
The ad, deemed inappropriate by NFL and NBC officials, ran only in Texas. It showed a couple celebrating their anniversary at a white tablecloth restaurant. The man blew his nose, answered his cell phone, then stood up to leave in the middle of dessert.
“Happy anniversary, honey,” he said on his way out.
Then came the voice-over, speaking to women: “Isn’t it time for AshleyMadison.com?”

Louis was emphatic that the answer is no.
“The reality is many people do have affairs, but they only create additional problems between husbands and wives,” he said. “There’s nothing like a big old secret — and guilt and fear — that further isolates you from your partner.”
AshleyMadison.com CEO Noel Biderman said he started the service in 2001, after reading that 30 percent of the people signing up for singles dating services were actually married.
“I thought, wouldn’t it be better to be honest about your status?” he said. “About 3.3 million members and tens of millions of dollars later, I think I was right.”
Today, the Toronto-based company is focusing on Texas because Houston, Dallas and San Antonio represent its fastest-growing markets.
“We’ve had close to a quarter-million members join in the past few months,” Biderman said.
Financial decision

Despite the ban on his Super Bowl ad by the NFL and NBC, he said local stations found it made financial sense to air the spot.
“The effects of the current recession are so profound that many local stations were willing to accept Ashley Madison advertising dollars even in this post-wardrobe-malfunction Super Bowl climate,” he said.
It was a bonanza for Ashley Madison, too. By Monday afternoon, the Web site had received 147,000 hits from the Houston market alone.
The Rev. Randy White, senior pastor at First Baptist Church of Katy, described the ad as “despicable” and “a new low on the assault of marriage, the foundation of our society.”
He wanted to know who approved it at the local level.

One local user, Sondra Cole, defended the site.
The single, 41-year-old nurse says she signed up three years ago because she already was involved with married men .
“Right now, I just don’t want to compromise with anybody,” Cole said. “Men have to play by my rules, and when I say it’s time for them to go, they have to go. But I do enjoy the closeness and the communication. I had one come to me and tell me he had cancer. He hadn’t told anybody in his family or his boss. I’m glad he could confide in me.”
Another AshleyMadison.com customer, who identified himself as Mike, said his extramarital relationship made him feel attractive again.

It also made him realize he loves his wife and children and does not want to be separated or divorced. He’s quit trolling for dates online, he says.
That is good news for the Rev. Anthony Giampietro, chairman of the philosophy department at the University of St. Thomas. He acknowledges that while many couples find themselves in unhappy relationships, extramarital sex is hardly the answer.
Marriage takes work

Instead, he says, couples have to understand that the best things in life take work, that couples can maintain good relationships for 40 and 50 and 60 years and that they can do it.
Louis, the family therapist, offers a simple invitation to struggling couples. He works for Family Services of Greater Houston, a group that receives state and federal funds to offer free, marriage education workshops.

“We focus on skills of communication and conflict resolution with the aim of making relationships more satisfying,” Louis said. “Please come. The classes are offered in English, Spanish and Chinese.”

claudia.feldman@chron.com